Wow, what a year it has been! If you’ve been following my journey, its an undenialable fact that it’s been a rollercoaster for me. After much reflection, I wanted to share some hard truths and lessons that I have embraced in the past year. Some may not necessarily apply to you or your current situation, however I hope you find some comfort and understanding in some, in a way all these did for me.
1.You’re your own savior During my depression, I kept searching for someone or something to sweep up & save me. I tried to find safety and comfort in others and forgot how to fend for myself. It wasn’t until I felt so ALONE during my survival mode, that I realized I only had the power to “save” myself and keep fighting. At the end of the day, just remember to SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF because as harsh as it may sound, NOBODY ELSE WILL.
2.Healing has no timeline DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE. You don’t have to “get over it” or feel that you should be over something just because others think it’s time for you to move on. Take your time, healing doesn’t have an expiration date. Whether it’s 6 months later or 6 years, heal ON YOUR OWN TIME. People shouldn’t dictate your healing process and there is absoultely no rush to do so.
3.Cope the way you want to Many people were so judgemental in the ways I tried to cope. Most of those people are no longer in my life. Nobody should be forcing anything down your throat and telling you how & which method to use. There are no rule books or guidelines. Take everyday as it is and find YOUR way to accept and process the situation. MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR HOW YOU PICK UP THE PIECES & DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU!
4.Find your people Hitting my low points, people showed their true colors. In the end, I realized I always came back to the same group of people I found comfort and support in.No matter how close or how far, YOUR people will be there every step of the way and will offer that unconditional love and support through the highs and lows.
5.People’s actions are reflections of their inner self There were countless times that I would open up to people but was met with a hostile or dismissive response. These people threw my depression and anxiety in my face and compared my situation to theirs and acted as if I were just seeking attention. I’ve come to realize that their lack of compassion wasn’t something I’ve done, it was their own unhealed spirit that needed work. Since then I’ve tried to remind myself of this and try not to take it personally. I remind myself that everyone has their own battles to face that has NOTHING to do with you.
6. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel If you know me and story, you’ll see that I always bounced back. I AM RESILIENT. Despite all the challenges & roadblocks along the way, I always managed to fight through them. Though there were many countless times throughout the past year I was close to giving up, I managed to push through, face it head on and remind myself that there will be a time where I can heal. It may have taken awhile to overcome some struggles, but I DID it and I’m still contuining to do so. I realized that giving myself credit was long overdue and these days, I try to remind myself that things CAN and always WILL work out in the end as long as you keep going.
7.Not everyone has your best intentions I’m sure you are all familiar with the phrase “A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing”. Unless, you’ve been living under a rock your entire life, I’m sure you’ve come across these type of individuals. Now, this is something I was always aware of, however the past year really brought it to light. There were numerous people disguised as “friends”, who NOT only took advantage of my weakest moments but also humiliated me and gaslighted my current situations at the time. These were people whom I opened up to, people I shared secrets with and those who witnessed my struggles. They acted as if they were some genuine individuals, only to flip the script and show their true colors when my situations did NOT play out or benefit them in the way they’d hope. Looking back, I now know that these were NOT kind gestures but much rather a “publicity stunt” to enhance their reputation.
8.There are selfish people everywhere Again, something I’ve known for awhile but could NEVER relate to. This pandemic and the recent events of racial injustice in America, ONCE again proves how self-absorbed people are. If only we could take the time out to reflect and understand that being considerate and selfless at times has far more advantages and can lead to better outcomes, than being a self-serving individuals.
9.Self love is KEY You may hear it quite often, but do YOU really practice it? It took me awhile to practice self love after years of being selfless. And though, there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with putting others before you in some cases, it’s also important to LOVE yourself first. Forgive yourself, learn to say NO, tell yourself nice things, celebrate your wins no matter how big or small, just do whatever gotta do to remind yourself of how worthy you are, regardless of what anyone has to say.
10.Haters gonna HATE One thing that I’ve come to the realize is that not everyone is going to support you. There will ALWAYS be someone who will contradict or oppose your lifestyle but guess what? WHO CARES? I stopped wasting my time trying to prove to people that I can be a certain way and instead focused on my goals. The ONLY person you have to please at the end of the day, should be YOURSELF. No matter how successful you become, someone will always wish on your downfall, magnify your faults and thrive on your misery. The best thing I’ve learned to do is CUT THEM OUT and PAY NO ATTENTION. Their “evil eyes” only reveal their true colors. Keep doing you & pay no mind because your attention is not worthy of their negativity.
So, let’s RECAP…
- You can only SAVE yourself
- Heal on your own time
- Cope the way YOU need to
- Find YOUR PEOPLE
- Everyone is fighting a battle that has NOTHING to do with you
- There will forever be a light at the end of the tunnel
- BEWARE of a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
- People are SELFISH
- LOVE LOVE LOVE YOURSELF
- LET THEM HATE
What lessons have your learned recently or in the past year? I’d love to know in the comments below.
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