It’s so easy to get caught up with the ‘hustle and bustle’ of life that we forget to take a step back and realize the reality of things. This healing journey can be overwhelming at times— some days I am in a state of bliss but then there are moments in which I find myself on the verge of breaking down over the smallest occurences.
My current state of emotion has definitely progressed from the darker days but it doesn’t mean I didn’t have a moment or was just “in my feelings” about two nights ago. Healing doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be happy or think positive every damn day. Crying it out does help and it’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, etc. The most important thing to remember is not to revert back into the toxic ways and mindset you fought to crawl out of.
I have to admit that there are times that I fall back into a pessimistic state for a minute or two or even a good half of my day, because it’s so easy to focus on and latch onto the negatives when things aren’t going your way in that instance. There are certain triggers that get me annoyed, angry and irritated about my past but then I remember that I can’t allow myself to waste my energy on the past anymore than I already have. My boyfriend, friends and family have been a significant part of this process, showing me their endless support in so many different ways. Sometimes words of affirmations are all that is needed to snap you out of your funk and elimimate that dark cloud over your head. Or sometimes, it’s you on the other end giving these sweet words of encouragements in which surprisingly helps you heal in your own way.
Whichever position you find yourself in, just remember that negative thought, your current frustration or that dark cloud looming above your head is just temporary. I, myself am still learning this. I’m still learning to cope with some everyday struggles and it’s perfectly fine. Some days are gonna kick ass, other times they’re gonna feel like you’ve hit a wall, but love yourself enough to work through it. I often don’t give myself enough credit for how much I’ve accomplished and for even picking myself up countless times, but again I’m learning to do so. I’m extemely blessed to have certain people around me now to lift me up and remind me to love myself on those days. Things will not always go as planned because we all know that’s just how life works, but I’m realizing that I only have the power to either let it swallow me whole or face the adversities head on. I trust and believe I’ll get to my ‘good place’ someday, I just have to keep fighting through these times and so do you…